Guide · 8 min read

Turkish etiquette: the unwritten social rules of Türkiye

Turkish people are famously warm and hospitable. As a guest, you will be fed, offered tea, asked about your family and helped in ways you do not expect. But behind this warmth there is a set of unwritten rules. Nobody will be angry if you break them, but knowing them makes you feel at home and shows deep respect.

Fatih Koçoğlu · Turkish teacher

In this guide I explain the most important social rules in Türkiye, together with the small phrases that go with each situation. Language and culture are inseparable here: many Turkish phrases only make sense once you know the custom behind them.

Greetings and respect for elders

Greet everyone when you enter a room, starting with the oldest person. Among friends and family, people often kiss on both cheeks. Young people show respect to grandparents and elders by kissing their hand and touching it to their forehead, especially during holidays. You are not expected to do this as a foreigner, but if you do, it will be remembered for years.

Use the polite "siz" form (Nasılsınız?, Teşekkür ederim) with older people and strangers. Call older men "amca" or "abi" and older women "teyze" or "abla". It sounds very natural and friendly.

Visiting a Turkish home

Take off your shoes at the door. The host will often offer slippers (terlik). Bring something small: a box of baklava, chocolates, flowers or fruit. When you enter you will hear "Hoş geldiniz" and you answer "Hoş bulduk". A host might apologise for the "mess" in a perfectly clean house; this is modesty, and the right answer is "Estağfurullah, çok güzel!".

You will be offered tea or Turkish coffee almost immediately. It is polite to accept. In some homes the host will also offer kolonya, lemon cologne, to refresh your hands. Hold out your palms, rub them together and enjoy the smell. It is a small and lovely ritual.

▶ Video lessons

▶Hoş geldiniz / Hoş bulduk

▶Ayakkabılarını çıkar!

▶Kolonya?

▶Ayıp ettin

▶Estağfurullah

▶Nazar değmesin

YouTube: @learnturkishwithfatih →

Food and hospitality

In a Turkish home, the host will keep putting food on your plate. "Biraz daha al!" (have a little more!) is a phrase you will hear many times. It is fine to say "Doydum, teşekkür ederim" (I'm full, thank you), but you may need to say it two or three times. Leaving a little food on your plate shows that you are full, while an empty plate may get you a second portion.

When you finish the meal, always thank the cook with "Ellerinize sağlık". This is not optional; it is the most important sentence at a Turkish table. The answer is "Afiyet olsun".

Tea culture

Tea (çay) is offered everywhere: in homes, shops, offices, even when you buy a carpet. Refusing once is fine, but accepting is the easy way to build a relationship. Tea is served in small tulip-shaped glasses, without milk. If you have had enough, place your teaspoon across the top of the glass; that is the silent signal for "no more, thank you".

Money and the bill

Turks rarely split a bill in front of each other, especially with guests. Your host or the older person in the group will usually insist on paying. "Ayıp ettin!" (shame on you) is the playful protest if you try to pay. The polite way is to let them pay and to invite them next time.

Mosques and religious places

You are welcome to visit mosques outside prayer times. Take off your shoes, dress modestly with shoulders and knees covered, and women should cover their hair with a scarf. Speak quietly, do not walk in front of people who are praying and avoid flash photography. During Ramadan, try not to eat or drink in public in conservative areas during the day.

The evil eye and blessings

Many Turks believe in nazar, the evil eye: envy can bring bad luck. That is why you will see blue glass eye beads (nazar boncuğu) everywhere, from babies' clothes to car mirrors. When praising a baby or someone's success, add "Maşallah". Some people also say "Nazar değmesin" (may the evil eye not touch it) or knock on wood.

Polite phrases for every situation

Turkish has a ready-made phrase for almost every moment of life. Say "Kolay gelsin" to people working, "Geçmiş olsun" to someone who is ill, "Hayırlı olsun" for a new job, house or car, and "Başınız sağ olsun" when someone has lost a loved one. After someone sneezes, say "Çok yaşa!", and the answer is "Sen de gör!".

Things to avoid

Do not blow your nose loudly at the table. Do not point the soles of your feet at people. Do not hug or kiss someone of the opposite sex you just met unless they start it. Avoid criticising Atatürk, the flag or the nation; these are sensitive topics. Public displays of affection are fine in big cities but less so in conservative towns.

The "OK" hand sign is fine in most places, but the "fig" gesture (a thumb between two fingers) is rude. A quick upward head nod with raised eyebrows, often with a "tsk" sound, means "no", not "yes". This confuses many visitors at first.

Time and plans

Turkish time can be flexible. "Beş dakikaya geliyorum" (I'm coming in five minutes) can mean twenty. Plans are often made at the last minute, and "Bakarız" or "İnşallah" can be a polite way to say that something probably will not happen. For business, though, people are usually punctual.

The best rule of all is simple: when in doubt, smile, accept the tea and say Teşekkür ederim. Turks forgive almost any mistake from a guest who is curious and respectful. If you want all the polite phrases in one book, with pronunciation and the culture behind them, my main book below is the companion to this guide.